You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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