Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
