you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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