ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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