Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
