school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
