how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
