Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
