doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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