I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
