My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
