By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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