please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
