operation harelip BJ is a go
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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