lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
