So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
