Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
