I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
