Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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