used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
