do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
