did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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