yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
