i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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