So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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