dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
