He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
