your parents love me but you hate me
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
