6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
