I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
