yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i will never coherently bang her
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
