i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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