Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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