I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
