why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
