we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
this boner is exhausting
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
