Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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