i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
