The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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