Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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