waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
