the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
