Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
