That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
