Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
