what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
