you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
