so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
