it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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