my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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