Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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