Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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