he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
