Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
