Small penises have feelings too.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
