smell my finger.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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