i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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