D3 body, D1 cock
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize