It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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