Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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