4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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