Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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