Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize