he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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