Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
