I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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