It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
