i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
